The family is where the parents choose to:
Love, trust, accept, welcome, encourage, support and care for each other and their children.
These words define the difference between a healthy and happy family inside out and another torn apart family where parents avoid each other and their teens turn to drugs or become depressive. I help my clients to build love and connection through the use of sincere and honest relationship skills.
I also help people to stop doing things that damage their partners and teens love for them. Some try to make their partner change by making threats to leave or by being patient. These ways don’t work because they don’t deal with the real problem. What needs to be learned is how to love the one another despite our differences and how to deal with our own and our partner’s or teens insecurities without losing our love for one another. Which means honoring differences and promoting linkages. It might seem as if all their behaviors are meant to hurt us, but believe it or not that is not the motivation behind their behavior.
So, if your husband and you are not getting along, is the answer being patient or ending the marriage? if your teenager is shutting you out, fighting with you, running with a bad crowd, or experiencing academic failure, is the answer just giving him space, or waiting patiently for those teenage years to pass? Of Course Not! Remember, you always have the choice to decide how you’re going to respond to what they do, to take responsibility, to love them enough to say “I will be the one to start the change” and learn new skills and give a mini-lifting to your couple and family.
Life is what you make of it and your situation is never permanent. Life will give you only what you ask of it! So what kind of help do you need? Is this a good moment to get off the auto-pilot? Don’t wait until you feel like it, you never will. But know that the decision you make today has everything to do with where you and your family are going to be in the coming years.