How to find your type

The Personality Inventories

Fill out the inventories at the beginning of each chapter. Answer the questions according to what you were like when you were (or if you are now) under the age of 25, when behavior habits are the most automatic. The inventory you score highest on may be your type, but don’t stop there. It is best to read all the chapters and take all the inventories. If you can’t decide between two adjacent numbers, one may be your more developed wing.

The Perfectionist (One)

Ones at their Best are:

Ethical

Reliable

Productive

Wise

Idealistic

Fair

Honest

Orderly

Self-Disciplined

Ones at their worst are:

Judgmental

Inflexible

Dogmatic

Obsessive-compulsive

Critical of others

Overly serious

Controlling

Anxious

Jealous

Personality inventory

Check what describes you when you were (or if you are now) under the age of 25

  • I like to be organized and orderly.
  • It is difficult to be spontaneous.
  • I often feel guilty about not getting enough accomplished.
  • I don’t like it when people break rules.
  • Incorrect grammar and spelling bother me a lot.
  • I am idealistic. I want to make the word a better place
  • I am almost always on time.
  • I hold on to resentment for a long time.
  • I think of myself of being practical, reasonable, and realistic.
  • When jealous, I become fearful and competitive.
  • Either I don’t have enough time to relax or I think I shouldn’t relax.
  • I tend to see things in terms of right and wrong, good or bad.
  • I analyze major purchases very thoroughly before I make them.
  • I dread being criticized or judged by others.
  • I often compare myself with others.
  • Truth and justice are very important to me.
  • I often feel that time is running out and there is too much left to do.
  • I almost always do what I say I will do.
  • I worry almost constantly
  • I love making every detail perfect.

How to get along with me 

  • Take your share of the responsibility so I don’t end up with all the work.
  • Acknowledge my achievements.
  • I’m hard on myself. Reassure me that I’m fine the way I am.
  • Tell me that you value my advice.
  • Be fair and considerate, as I am.
  • Apologize if you have been unthoughtful. It will help me forgive.
  • Gently encourage me to lighten up and to laugh at myself when I get uptight, but hear my worries first.

Relationships

Ones at their best in a relationship are loyal, dedicated, conscientious, and helpful. They are well balanced and have a good sense of humor.

Ones at their worst in a relationship are critical, argumentative, nit-picking, and uncompromising. They have high expectations of others.

What I Like about Being a One

  • Being self-disciplined and able to accomplish a great deal
  • Working hard to make the world a better place
  • Having high standards and ethics, not compromising myself
  • Being reasonable, responsible, and dedicated in everything I do
  • Being able to put facts together, coming to good understandings, and figuring out wise solutions.
  • Being the best I can be and bringing out the best in other people.

What’s hard about being a One

  • Being disappointed with myself or others when my expectations are not met.
  • Feeling burdened by too much responsibility
  • Thinking that what I do is never good enough
  • Not being appreciated for what I do for people
  • Being upset because others aren’t trying as hard as I am
  • Obsessing about what I did or what I should do
  • Being tense, anxious or taking things too seriously.

Ones as Children often 

  • Criticize themselves in anticipation of criticism from others.
  • Refrain from doing things that they think might not come out perfect
  • Focus on living up to the expectation of their parents and teachers
  • Are very responsible; may assume the role of parents
  • Hold back negative emotions (“ good children aren’t angry “)

Ones as Parents

  • Teach their children responsibility and strong moral values
  • Are consistent and fair
  • Discipline firmly

Careers

Ones are efficient, organized, and always complete the task. The more analytical and tough-minded Ones are found in management, science, and law enforcement. The more people-oriented Ones are found in health care, education, and religious work.

The Helper (Two)

Twos are motivated by the need to be loved and valued and to express their positive feelings towards others.

Traditionally society has encouraged Two qualities in females more than in males.

Twos at their best are

Loving

Caring

Adaptable

Insightful

Generous

Enthusiastic

Tuned in to how

People feel

Twos at their WORST are

Martyr like

Indirect

Manipulative

Possessive

Hysterical

Overly accommodating

Overly demonstrative (the more extroverted Twos)

Personality Inventory

Check what describes you when you were (or if you are now) under the age of 25 

  • I want people to feel comfortable coming to me for guidance and advice
  • Relationships are more important to me than almost anything
  • Sometimes I fell overburdened by people’s dependence on me
  • I have trouble asking for what I need
  • I crave, yet sometimes fear, intimacy
  • I am more comfortable giving than receiving
  • I am very sensitive to criticism
  • I work hard to overcome all obstacles in a relationship
  • I try to be as sensitive and tactful as possible
  • When I am alone I know what I want, but when I am with others I am not sure
  • It is very important that others feel comfortable and welcome in my home
  • I don’t want my dependence to show
  • Watching violence on television and seeing people suffer is unbearable
  • Sometimes I feel a deep sense of loneliness
  • If I don’t get the closeness I need, I feel sad, hurt, and unimportant
  • Sometimes I get physically ill and emotionally drained from taking care of everyone else
  • I often figure out what others would like in a person, then act that way
  • I enjoy giving compliments and telling people that they are special to me
  • I am attracted to being with important or powerful people
  • People have said I exaggerate too much and am overly emotional

How to get along with me

  • Tell me that you appreciate me. Be specific
  • Share fun times with me
  • Take an interest in my problems, though I will probably try to focus on yours
  • Let me know that I am important and special to you
  • Be gentle if you decide to criticize me

Relationships

Twos at their best in a relationship are attentive, appreciative, generous, warm, playful, and nurturing. Twos make their partners fell special and loved.

Twos at their worst in a relationship are controlling, possessive, needy, and insincere. Since they have trouble asking directly, they tend to manipulate to get what they want.

What I like about being a two

  • Being able to relate easily to people and to make friends
  • Knowing what people need and being able to make their lives better
  • Being generous, caring , and warm
  • Being sensitive to and perceptive about others’ feelings
  • Being enthusiastic and fun-loving, and having a good sense of humor

What’s hard about being a Two

  • Not being able to say no
  • Having low self-esteem
  • Feeling drained from overdoing for others
  • Not doing things I really like to do for myself for fear of being selfish
  • Criticizing myself for not feeling as loving as I think I should
  • Being upset that others don’t tune in to me as much as I tune in to them
  • Working so hard to be tactful and considerate that I suppress my real feelings

Twos as children often

  • Are very sensitive to disapproval and criticism
  • Try hard to please their parents by being helpful and understanding
  • Are outwardly compliant
  • Are popular or try to be popular with other children
  • Act coy, precocious, or dramatic in order to get attention
  • Are clowns and jokers (the more extroverted Twos), or quiet and shy (the more introverted Twos)

Twos as Parents

  • Are often good listeners, love their children unconditionally, and are warm and encouraging (or suffer guilt if they aren’t)
  • Are often playful with their children
  • Wonder: “Am I doing it right?” “Am I giving enough?” “Have I caused irreparable damage?”
  • Can become fiercely protective

Careers

Twos usually prefer to work with people, often in the helping professions, as counselors, teachers, and health workers. Extroverted Twos are sometimes found in the limelight as actresses, actors, and motivational speakers. Twos also work in sales and helping others as receptionists, secretaries, assistants, decorators, and clothing consultant.

  

The Achiever (Three)

 Threes are motivated by the need to be productive, achieve success, and avoid failure.

Threes at their BEST are:

  • Optimistic
  • Confident
  • Industrious
  • Efficient
  • Self-propelled
  • Energetic
  • Practical

Threes at their WORST are:

  • Deceptive
  • Narcissistic
  • Pretentious
  • Vain
  • Superficial
  • Vindictive
  • Overly competitive

 

Personality Inventory

Check what describes you when you were (or if you are now) under the age of 25

  • I’m almost always busy
  • I like to make to-do lists, progress charts, and schedules for myself.
  • I don’t mind being asked to work overtime.
  • I have an optimistic attitude
  • I go full force until I get the job done
  • I believe in doing things as expediently as possible
  • it is important for people to better themselves and live up to their potential.
  • I’m not interested in talking a lot about my personal life
  • I try not to let illness stop me from doing anything
  • I hate to see jobs undone
  • I tend to put work before other things
  • I can’t understand people who are bored. I never run out of things to do.
  • It is sometimes difficult for me to get in touch with my feelings
  • I work very hard to take care of and provide for my family
  • I like identifying with competent groups or important people
  • I try to present myself and make a good first impression
  • Financial security is extremely important to me
  • I generally feel pretty good about myself
  • People often look to me to run the show
  • I like to stand out in some way

How to get along with me

  • Leave me alone when I am doing my work.
  • Give me honest, but not unduly critical or judgmental, feedback.
  • Help me keep my environment harmonious and peaceful.
  • Don’t burden me with negative emotions.
  • Tell me when you’re proud of me or my accomplishments.

Relationships

Threes at their best in a relationship value and accept their partners. They are playful, giving, responsible, and well regarded by others in the community

Threes at their worst in a relationship are preoccupied with work and projects. They are self-absorbed, defensive, impatient, dishonest, and controlling.

What I like about being a Three

  • Being optimistic, friendly, and upbeat
  • Providing well for my family
  • Being able to recover quickly from setbacks and to charge ahead to the next challenge
  • Staying informed, knowing what’s going on
  • Being competent and able to get things to work efficiently
  • Being able to motivate people

What’s hard about being a Three

  • Having to put up with inefficiency and incompetence
  • The fear of not being – or of not being seen as – successful
  • Comparing myself to people who do things better
  • Struggling to hang on to my success
  • Putting on facades in order to impress people
  • Always being “on.” It’s exhausting

Threes as children often

  • Work hard to receive appreciation for their accomplishments
  • Are well liked by other children and by adults
  • Are among the most capable and responsible children in their class or school
  • Are active in school government and clubs or are quietly busy working on their own projects

Threes as parents

  • Are consistent, dependable, and loyal
  • Struggle between wanting to spend time with their children and wanting to get more work done
  • Expect their children to be responsible and organized

Careers

Threes are hardworking, goal oriented, organized, and decisive. They are frequently in management or leadership positions in business, law, banking, the computer field, and politics. Being in the public eye, as broadcasters and performers, is also common. The more helping-oriented Threes tend to go into teaching, social services, or the health field. They also become homemakers who put tremendous energy into their responsibilities.

The Romantic (Four)

I can stand almost anything except a succession of ordinary days

Fours are motivated by the need to experience their feelings and to be understood, to search for the meaning of life, and to avoid being ordinary.

 

Fours at their best are

Warm

Compassionate

Introspective

Expressive

Creative

Intuitive

Supportive

Refined

 

Fours at their worst are

Depressed

Self-conscious

Guilt-ridden

Moralistic

Withdrawn

Stubborn

Moody

Self-absorbed

Personality Inventory

Check what describes you when you were (or if you are now) under the age of 25

  • being understood is very important to me
  • My friends say they enjoy my warmth and my different way of looking at life
  • I can become nonfunctional for hours. Days. or weeks when I’m depressed
  • I am very sensitive to critical remarks and feel hurt at the tiniest slight
  • It really affects me emotionally when I read upsetting stories in the newspaper
  • My ideals are very important to me
  • I cry easily. Beauty. Love. Sorrow. And pain really touch me
  • 8 My melancholy moods are real and important. I don’t necessarily want to get out of them
  • 9 I often long for what others have
  • 10 I try to support my friends. Especially when they are in crisis
  • 11 I live in the past and in the future more than in present – day reality
  • 12 I place great importance on my intuition
  • 13 I try to control people at times
  • 14 I hate insincerity and lack of integrity in others
  • 15 I have spent years longing for the great love of my life to come along
  • 16 I focus on what is wrong with me rather than on what is right
  • 17 I like to be seen as one of a kind
  • 18 I am always searching for my true self
  • 19 sometimes I feel very uncomfortable and different, like an isolated outsider, even when I’m with my friends
  • 20 when people tell me what to do, I often become rebellious and do, or wish I could do, the opposite

 

How to get along with me

  • Give me plenty of compliments. They mean a lot to me
  • Be a supportive friend or partner. Help me to learn to love and value my self
  • Respect me for my special gifts of intuition and vision
  • Though I don’t always want to be cheered up when I’m feeling melancholy, I sometimes like to have someone lighten me up a little.
  • Don’t tell me I’m too sensitive or that I’m overreacting!

 

Relationships

Fours at their best in a relationship are empathic, supportive, gentle, playful, passionate, and witty. They are self-revealing and bond easily.

Fours at their worst in a relationship are too self-absorbed, jealous, emotionally needy, moody, self-righteous, and overly critical. They become hurt and feel rejected easily.

What I like about being a four

  • My ability to find meaning in life and to experience feelings at a deep level
  • My ability to establish warm connections with people
  • Admiring what is noble, truthful, and beautiful in life
  • My creativity, intuition and sense of humor
  • Being unique and being seen as unique by others
  • Having aesthetic sensibilities
  • Being able to easily pick up the feelings of people around me

What’s hard about being a Four

  • Experiencing dark moods of emptiness and despair
  • Feelings of self-hatred and shame; believing I don’t deserve to be loved
  • Feeling guilty when I disappoint people
  • Felling hurt or attacked when someone misunderstands me
  • Expecting too much from myself and life
  • Fearing being abandoned
  • Obsessing over resentments
  • Longing for what I don’t have

 

Fours as children often

  • Have active imaginations : play creatively alone or organize playmates in original games
  • Are very sensitive
  • Feel that they don’t fit in
  • Believe they are missing something that other people have
  • Attach themselves to idealized teachers, heroes, artists, etc.
  • Become antiauthoritarian or rebellious when criticized or not understood
  • Feel lonely or abandoned ( perhaps as a result of death or their parents’ divorce)

 

Fours as Parents

  • Help their children become who they really are
  • Support their children’s creativity and originality
  • Are good at helping their children get in touch with their feelings
  • Are sometimes overly critical or overly protective
  • Are usually very good with children if not too self-absorbed

 

Careers

  • Fours can inspire, influence, and persuade through the arts (music, fine art, dancing,) and the written or spoken word (poetry, novels, journalism, and teaching).
    Many like to help bring out the best in people as psychologists or counselors.
    Some take pride in the small businesses they own. Often fours accept mundane jobs to support their creative pursuits.

The Observer (Five)

Fives are motivated by the need to know and understand everything, to be self-sufficient, and to avoid looking foolish.

Fives at their best are
Analytical
Persevering
Sensitive
Wise
Objective
Perceptive
Self-contained
Fives at their WORST are
intellectually arrogant
Stingy
Stubborn
Distant
Critical of others
Unassertive
Negative
Personality Inventory

Check what describes you when you were (or if you are now) under the age of 25

  • I learn from observing or reading as opposed to doing
  • It’s hard to express my feeling in the moment
  • I get lost in my interests and like to be alone with them for hours
  • I usually experience my feelings more deeply when I’m by myself
  • sometimes I feel guilty that I’m not generous enough.
  • I try to conceal my sensitivity to criticism and judgment
  • Brash, loud people offend me
  • like to associate with others who have expertise in my field.
  • I like having a title (doctor, professor, administrator) to feel proud of.
  • I have been accused of being negative. Cynical, and suspicious.
  • when I feel socially uncomfortable. I often wish I could disappear.
  • I am often reluctant to be assertive or aggressive.
  • I dislike most social events. I’d rather be alone or with a few people I know well.
  • I sometimes feel shy or awkward
  • I get tired when I’m with people for too long.
  • I feel different from most people.
  • I feel invisible. It surprises me when anyone notices anything about me
  • I don’t look for material possessions to make me happy
  • Acting calm is a defense. It makes me feel stronger.

 

How to get along with me

  • Be independent, not clingy
  • Speak in a straightforward and brief manner
  • I need time alone to process my feelings and thoughts.
  • Remember that if I seem aloof, distant, or arrogant it may be that I am feeling uncomfortable.
  • Make me feel welcome, but not too intensely, or I might doubt your sincerity.
  • If I become irritated when I have to repeat things, it may be because it was such an effort to get my thoughts out in the first place
  • Don’t come on like a bulldozer
  • Help me to avoid my pet peeves: big parties, other people’s loud music, overdone emotions, and instructions on my privacy.

 

Relationships

Fives at their best in a relationship are kind, perceptive, open-minded,
self-sufficient, and trustworthy. Fives at their worst in a relationship are contentious, suspicious, withdrawn, and negative. They are on their guard against being engulfed.

What I like about being a five

  • Standing back and viewing life objectively
  • Coming to a thorough understanding, perceiving causes and effects
  • My sense of integrity: doing what I think is right and not being influenced by social pressure
  • Not being caught up in material possessions and status
  • Being calm in a crisis

Fives as Children Often

  • Spend a lot of time alone reading, making collections, and so on
  • Have a few special friends rather than many
  • Are very bright and curious and do well in school
  • Have independent minds and often question their parents and teachers
  • Watch events from a detached point of view, gathering information
  • Assume a poker face in order not to look afraid
  • Are sensitive; avoid interpersonal conflict
  • Feel intruded upon and controlled and/ or ignored and neglected

Fives as parents

  • Are often kind, perceptive, and devoted
  • Are sometimes authoritarian and demanding
  • May expect more intellectual achievement than is developmentally appropriate
  • May be intolerant of their children expressing strong emotions

Careers

Fives are often in scientific, technical, or other intellectually demanding fields. They have strong analytical skills and are good at problem solving. Those with a well – developed four wing are more likely to be counselors, musicians, artists, or writers. Fives usually like to work alone and are independent thinkers.

The Questioner (Six)

Sixes are motivated by the need for security. Phobic Sixes are outwardly fearful and seek approval. Counterphobic Sixes confront their fear. Both of these aspects can appear in the same person.

Sixes at their Best are           

Loyal
Likable
Caring
Warm
Compassionate
Witty
Practical
Helpful
Responsible

Sixes at their WORST are

Hypervigilant
Controlling
Unpredictable
judgmental
paranoid
defensive
rigid
self-defeating
testy

Personality Inventory

Check what describes you when you were (or if you are now) under the age of 25.

  • I am nervous around certain authority figures.
  • I am often plagued by doubt.
  • I like to have clear-cut guidelines and to know where I stand.
  • I am always on the alert for danger.
  • I take things to seriously.
  • I constantly question myself about the might go wrong.
  • I often experience criticism as an attack.
  • I often obsess about what my partner is thinking.
  • I can be a very hard worker.
  • My friends think of me as a loyal, supportive, and compassionate.
  • I’ve been told that I have a sense of humor.
  • I follow rules closely (a phobic trait): or I often break rules (a counterphobic trait).
  • The more vulnerable I am in my intimate relationship, the more anxious and testy I become.
  • I tend to either procrastinate or plunge headlong, even into dangerous situations.
  • I am very aware of people trying to manipulate me with flattery.
  • I like predictability.
  • I have sabotaged my own success.
  • I can support people through thick and sin.
  • Being neat and orderly helps me feel more in control of my life
  • I dislike pretension in people.

How to Get Along With Me:

  • Be direct and clear.
  • Listen to me carefully.
  • Don’t judge me for my anxiety.
  • Work things through with me.
  • Reassure me that everything is OK between us.
  • Laugh and make jokes with me.
  • Gently push me toward new experiences.
  • Try not to overreact to my overreacting.

Relationships:

Sixes at their best in a relationship are warm, playful, open, loyal, supportive, honest, fair, and reliable.

Sixes at their worst in a relationship are suspicious, controlling, inflexible, and sarcastic. They either withdraw or put on a thought act when threatened.

What I Like About Being a Six:

  • Being committed and faithful to family and friends.
  • Being responsible and hardworking.
  • Being compassionate toward others.
  • Having intellect and wit.

And What I Like About Being Counterphobic

  • Being a nonconformist.
  • Confronting danger bravely.
  • Being direct and assertive.

What’s Hard about Being a Six:

  • The constant push and pull involved in trying to make up my mind.
  • Procrastinating because of fear of failure; having a little confidence in myself.
  • Fearing being abandoned or take advantage of.
  • Exhausting myself by worrying and scanning for danger.
  • Wishing I had a rule book at work so I could do everything right.
  • Being too critical of myself when I haven’t lived up to my expectations.

Typical Phobic Thoughts of a Six:

  • Am I ready for every emergency?
  • What are they thinking about me?
  • Do I fit in?
  • Was I talking too much?
  • Why did I say that?
  • Why did SHE say that?
  • What am I supposed to do?
  • Will he take advantage of me?
  • What if I don’t like it?

Sixes as Children Often

  • Are friendly, likable, and dependable, and/or sarcastic, bossy, and stubborn.
  • Are anxious and hypervigilant; anticipate danger.
  • Form a team of “us against them” with a best friend or a parent.
  • Look to groups authorities to protect them and/or question authority and rebel.
  • Are neglected or abused, come from unpredictable or alcoholic families, and/or take on the fearfulness of an overly anxious parent

Sixes as parents

  • Are often loving, nurturing, and have a strong sense of duty.
  • Are sometimes reluctant to give their children independence.
  • Worry more than most their children will get hurt.
  • Sometimes have trouble saying no and setting boundaries.

Careers:

Though Sixes can be found I almost any career, they are often attracted to the justice system, the military, the corporate world, and academia. Sixes often like being part of a team. Many are in health care and education. Counterphobic Sixes sometimes have jobs that involve risks. Those who learn toward the antiauthority side are usually happier when self-employed. If Sixes are unhappy with their work situation, they are likely to become rebellious or secretive.

The Adventurer (Seven)

Sevens are motivated by the need to be happy and plan enjoyable activities, to contribute to the world, and to avoid suffering and pain.

Sevens at their Best are                    

Fun-loving
Spontaneous
Imaginative
Productive
Enthusiastic
Quick
Confident
Charming
Curious

Sevens at their WORST are

Narcissistic
Impulsive
Unfocused
Rebellious
Undisciplined
Possessive
Manic
Self-destructive Restless

Personality Inventory

Check what describes you when you were (or if you are now) under the age of 25.

  • I enjoy life. I am generally uninhibited and optimistic.
  • I don’t like being made to feel obligated or beholden.
  • I am busy and energetic. I seldom get bored if left to do what I want.
  • I often take verbal or physical risks.
  • I usually pickup beat friends who have similar goals.
  • I’m not an expert in any one thing, but can do many things well.
  • My style is to go back and forth from one task to another. I like to keep moving.
  • I seem to let go of grievances and recover from loss faster that than most people I know.
  • I like myself and I’m good to myself.
  • I like people and they usually like me.
  • I usually manage to get what I want.
  • I value quick wit.
  • I am idealistic. I want to contribute something to the world.
  • I vacillate between feeling committed and wanting my freedom and independence.
  • I am often at ease in groups.
  • When people are unhappy, I usually try to get them to lighten up and see the bright side.
  • I love excitement and travel.
  • Sometimes I feel inferior and sometimes I feel superior to others.
  • I usually say whatever is on my mind. Sometimes it gets me into trouble.
  • I can make great sacrifices to help people.

How to get along with me:

Give me companionship, affection and freedom.

Engage with me in simulating conversation and laughter.

Appreciate my grand visions and listen to my stories.

Don’t try to change my style. Accept me the way I am.

Be responsible for yourself. I dislike clingy or needy people.

Don’t tell me what to do.

What I Like About Being a Seven:

  • Being optimistic and not letting life’s troubles get me down.
  • Being spontaneous and free-spirited.
  • Being outspoken and outrageous. It’s part of the fun.
  • Being generous and trying to make the world a better place.
  • Having the guts to take risks and to try exciting adventures.
  • Having such varied interests and abilities.

What’s Hard About Being a Seven:

  • Not having enough time to do all the things I want
  • Not completing things I start.
  • Not being able to profit from specializing; not making a commitment to a career.
  • Having tendency to be undergrounded; getting lost in plans and fantasies.
  • Feeling confined when I’m in a one-to-one relationship.

Seven as Children often:

  • Are action oriented and adventuresome
  • Drum up excitement
  • Prefer being with other children to being alone
  • Finesse their way around adults
  • Dream of the freedom they’ll have when they grow up

Seven as Parents

  • Are often enthusiastic and generous
  • Want their children to be exposed to many adventures in life
  • May be too busy with their own activities to be attentive

Career:

Many Sevens have several careers at once or jobs where they travel a lot (as pilots, flights attendants, or photographers, for example). Some like using tools or machines or working outdoors. Others prefer solving problems as entrepreneurs or troubleshooters. Still others are in the helping professions as teachers, nurses, or counselors. Seven are not likely to be found in repetitive work (in assembly lines or accounting, for instance). They like challenges and think quickly in emergencies.

The Asserter (Eight)

Eights are motivated by the need to be self-reliant and strong, and to avoid feeling weak or dependent.

Eights at their Best are                      

Direct
Authoritative
Loyal
Energetic
Earthy
Protective
Self-confident

Eights at their WORST are

Controlling
Rebellious
Insensitive
Domineering
Self-centered
Skeptical
Aggressive

Personality Inventory

Check what describes you when you were (or if you are now) under the age of 25.

  • I can be assertive and aggressive when I need to be
  • I can’t stand being used or manipulated
  • I value being direct and honest; I put my cards on the table.
  • I am an individualist and an nonconformist
  • I respect people who stand for themselves
  • I will go to any lengths to protect those I love
  • I fight for what is right
  • I support the underdog
  • Making decisions is not difficult for me
  • Self-reliance and independence are important
  • I have overindulged in food or drugs
  • Some people take offense at my bluntness
  • When I enter a new group, I know immediately who the most powerful person is.
  • I work hard and I know how to get things done
  • In a group I am sometimes an observer rather than a participant
  • I like excitement and stimulation
  • Sometimes I like to spar with people, especially when I feel safe.
  • I am vulnerable and loving when I really trust someone
  • Overly nice or flattering people bother me
  • Pretense is particularly distasteful to me

How to Get Along With Me:

  • Stand up for yourself… and me
  • Be confident, strong, and be direct
  • Don’t gossip about me or betray my trust
  • Be vulnerable and share your feelings. See and acknowledge my tender, vulnerable side.
  • Give me space to be alone
  • Acknowledge the contributions I make, but don’t flatter me
  • I often speak in an assertive way. Don’t automatically assume it’s a personal attack.
  • When I scream, curse, and stomp, try to remember that’s just the way I am

Relationships:

Eights at their best in a relationship are loyal, caring, positive, playful, truthful, straightforward, committed, generous, and supportive.

Eights at their worst in a relationship are demanding, arrogant, combative, possessive, uncompromising, and quick to find fault.

What I like about being an eight:

  • Being independent and self-reliant
  • Being able to take charge and meet challenges head on
  • Being courageous straightforward, and honest
  • Getting all the enjoyment I can out of life
  • Supporting, empowering, and protecting those close to me
  • Upholding just causes

What’s Hard about Being an Eight

Woman Eights sometimes have a hard time in our society because their strength and boldness are considered “masculine” traits.

  • Overwhelming people with my bluntness; scaring them away when I don’t intend to
  • Being restless and impatient with others’ incompetence
  • Sticking my neck out for people and receiving no appreciation for it
  • Never forgetting injuries or injustice
  • Putting too much pressure on myself
  • Getting high blood pressure when people don’t obey the rules or when things don’t go right

Eights as Children Often

  • Are independent; have an inner strength and a fighting spirit
  • Are sometimes loners
  • Seize control so they won’t be controlled
  • Attack verbally or physically when provoked
  • Take charge in the family because they perceive themselves as the strongest, or grow up in difficult or abusive surroundings

Eights as Parents

  • Are often loyal, caring, involved, and devoted
  • Are sometimes overprotective
  • Can be demanding, controlling, and rigid

Careers:

Eights are good at tacking the initiative to move ahead. They want to be in charge. Since they want the freedom to make their own choices, they are often self-employed. Eights have a strong need for financial security. Many are entrepreneurs, business executives, lawyers, military and union leaders, and sports figures. They are also in teaching and the helping health profession. Eights are attracted to careers in which they can demonstrate their willingness to accept responsibility and take on and resolve difficult problems.

The Peacemaker (Nine)

Nines are motivated by the need to keep the peace, to merge with others, and to avoid conflict. Since they, especially, take on qualities of the other eight types, nines have many variation in their personalities, from gentle and mild-mannered to independent and forceful.

Nines at their BEST are

Pleasant
Peaceful
Generous
Patient
Receptive
Diplomatic
Open minded
Empathic

 

Nines at their WORST are

Spaced-out
Rebellious
Stubborn
Obsessive
Apathetic
Passive-aggressive
Judgmental
Unassertive

Personality Inventory

Check what describes you when you were (or if you are now) under the age of 25.

  • I often feel in union with nature and people
  • Making choices can be very difficult. I can see the advantages and disadvantages of every option
  • It is sometimes hard for me to know what I want when I’m with other people
  • Others see me as peaceful, but inside I feel sometimes anxious
  • Instead of tackling what I really need to do, I sometimes do little, unimportant things
  • When there is unpleasantness going on around me, I just try to think about something else for a while
  • I usually prefer walking away from a disagreement to confronting someone
  • If I don’t have some routine and structure in my day, I get almost nothing done
  • I tend to put things off the last minute, but I almost always get them done
  • I like to be calm and unhurried, but sometimes I overextend myself
  • When people try to tell me what to do or try to control me, I get stubborn
  • I like to be sure to have time in my day for relaxing
  • Sometimes I feel shy and unsure of myself
  • I enjoy just hanging out with my partners or friends
  • Supportive and harmonious relationships are very important to me
  • I am very sensitive about being judged and take criticism personally
  • I like to listen and give people support
  • I focus more on the positive than on the negative
  • I have trouble getting rid of things
  • I operate under the principle of inertia: If I’m going, it’s easy to keep going, but sometimes have a hard time getting started

How to get along with me:

  • If you want me to do something, how you ask is important. I especially don’t like expectations or pressure
  • I like to listen and to be of service, but don’t take advantage of this
  • Listen until I finish speaking, even though I meander a bit
  • Give me time to finish things and make decisions. It’s OK to nudge me gently and nonjudgmentally
  • Ask me question to help me get clear
  • Tell me when you like how I look. I’m not averse to flattery
  • Hug me, show me physical affection. It opens me up to feelings
  • I like good discussion but not a confrontation
  • Let me know you like what I’ve done or said
  • Laugh with me and share my enjoyment

Relationships:

Nines at their best in a relationship are kind, gentle, reassuring, supportive, loyal, and nonjudgmental

Nines at their worst in a relationship are stubborn, passive-aggressive, unassertive, overly accommodating, and defensive.

What I like about being a Nine

  • Being nonjudgmental and accepting
  • Caring for and being concerned about others
  • Being able to relax and have good time
  • Knowing that most people enjoy my company; I’m easy to be around
  • My ability to see many different sides of an issue and to be a good mediator and facilitator
  • My heightened awareness of sensations, aesthetics, and the here and now
  • Being able to go with the flow and feel one with the universe

What’s hard about being a Nine:

  • Being judged and misunderstood for being placid and/or indecisive
  • Being critical of myself for lacking initiative and discipline
  • Being too sensitive to criticism; taking every raised eyebrow and twitch of the mouth personally
  • Being confused about what I really want
  • Caring too much about what others will think of me
  • Not being listened to or taken seriously

Nines as Children Often:

  • Feel ignored and that their wants, opinions, and feelings are unimportant
  • Tune out a lot, especially when other argue
  • Are “good” children: deny anger or keep it to themselves

Nines as Parents:

  • Are supportive, kind, and warm
  • Are sometimes overly permissive or nondirective

Careers:

Nines listen well, are objective, and make excellent mediators and diplomats. They are frequently in the helping professions. Some prefer structured situations, such as the military, civil service, and other bureaucracies.

When Nines move toward points Three or Six, or their One or Eight wing is strong, they are more aggressive and competitive.